This conversation seems well worth sharing. It seems to get to the heart of what I mean by awakening:
Q: Hi, Robert. Thanks for all you do.
I've listened to and read some of your work, which has definitely had an impact on my perspective towards the "spirituality industry,” as you called it. I’ve often felt impressed and inspired by some of the speakers in that industry, but have generally found those feelings not to last, and so I have always needed to get a fresh injection of inspiration from the next speaker with a different take on this awakening business. None of it seems to reveal the freedom, the awakening, that I am seeking.
This is a need that has always seemed nebulous and elusive, a bit like the donkey and the carrot. Something drives me forward, but I cannot say what it is. I began to get more doubtful about the teachings and practices I've done after hearing some of the Liberation Unleashed [a Facebook group, ed.] writings about seeing that no actual “self” exists or controls things.
However even that point of view failed to permeate my being in any visceral or profound way, and I would just continue in the same old conditioned self-view and behavior, although perhaps I do have a less identified perspective towards an apparent "me."
Anyway, I feel I'm now at a stage, especially since coming upon your work, where I've lost the impetus to read or practice or take an interest in much of the "spirituality” out there, but at the same time fear I might just become a world-bound blob. So, to awaken and "Know Truth" still seems the only point of my existence.
I would much appreciate any comments you might have on what I've said.
A: Hi. I guess the best thing I can tell you is to keep going. You are not done searching yet, and you should not let anything I say talk you out of that search.
That said, "truth" is not about what some spiritual teacher tells you it is. All of that may be his or her own so-called truth, but that does not mean it can be yours. Truth—not “the” Truth, but one’s own truth--is here right now, always here right now. And it is your truth, your mind, not what someone else tries to tell you to believe.
So, this is less about finding "truth," and more about noticing what is here right now.
I understand that such words from me may not seem helpful, and I am sorry about that. The real problem is that you are looking everywhere for "truth," when this unique moment is right under your nose. This is called riding a donkey in search of a donkey.
Q2: Hi, Robert. About your reply to Q, I seldom see, read, or hear anyone in nonduality circles say "keep searching." Yet you stated it in such a heartfelt manner, and in a way that relieves any stress about finding or not finding. Sometimes we search. If that is what’s happening, it's perfectly fine. Until it isn't.
A: Well, I don't know if I really belong to any "nonduality circle." From my perspective, most of that Advaita talk seems rather dry and experience-distant. I certainly do not walk around thinking about nonduality. Once, I said that if I talked that way I would want my mouth washed out with soap, which prompted a shit storm of vituperation from a nonduality fanatic whom I had to ban for good from posting here.
I prefer to keep things on the level of ordinary human awareness—just noticing everyday happenings and everyday feelings without trying to concoct explanations. Once rooted there, in the quotidian, and without wanting or needing anything to be different, better, or more "evolved," if someone gets a whiff of "oneness," OK. But that’s really not needed to live as an awake human being.
In fact, when people make "carrots" of nonduality, self-realization, oneness and all those shibboleths, all they really do is make themselves into donkeys. Ha, ha.
“Be here now,” means be here now, not hope to be there someday where some "expert" tells you that you should be. So forget the carrot. Don’t be a donkey. Find your own mind, and you will be done with carrots.
Be well.
Snapping Out of the Hypnotic Trance
Yep...