Q: Hello, sir, You say, “All you can ever be is what you are right now.” I don’t understand that. Right now, I am overweight. Does it mean that I will always be like that? And if being overweight can be changed with proper exercise, why can’t being overanxious, overirritable, or some other personality trait be changed through some practice?Sanjay Srivastava
As you know, I completely agree with everything you say here about free will, the self, personality, etc. But I would point out that being overweight does not come only from overeating, nor does eating less always resolve it. It can also involve metabolism, hormones, age and other factors. It's very common for women to gain weight after menopause, and men often get a large belly in middle age as well. This has certainly been the case for me. I'm over 2 inches shorter now than I used to be (the spine compresses with age and we shrink in height), and simultaneously, I'm over 20 lbs heavier, and none of it it is due to overeating, which has never been a pattern of mine or one of my addictive tendencies. Also, I'm not entirely convinced that tendencies such as anxiety and depression are so deeply rooted as to be pretty much unchangeable, as you seem to suggest, and that only our behavior in response to them can change. But, overall, I resonate completely with your main point here.
Thanks, Joan. Your point is well taken. Clearly, there are all kinds of metabolic and other causes that can lead to being either over or underweight.
The ancient Greeks got at your other point pretty well, I think. The four humors and how they blend seems to dictate what each of us has to work with:
sanguine (being optimistic and social),
choleric (being short-tempered and irritable),
melancholic (being analytical and quiet),
and phlegmatic (being relaxed and peaceful).
In the case of situational depression or anxiety, psychotherapy can be quite effective. But if the important elements in life, such as safety, companionship, reliable employment, etcetera are all in place, but the patient is still depressed or anxiety-ridden, many doctors, and I was one of them, would say that medication is the way to go, which suggests sturdy biological roots for those ailments.
As you know from my writing, I've had a tendency to depression, and I briefly tried Zoloft back in Chicago, and WOW--it was marvelous. I felt as if 5 lb weights had been removed from my body. All manifestations of depression vanished. But I developed a very severe side effect and had to go off. But it seemed to jump start me in some way. I never took another anti-depressant. The last therapist I saw told me these drugs are often used now very sparingly and for short periods. And I guess there is ongoing controversy about how they work. But my brief experience with Zoloft definitely showed me very viscerally how much of our inner weather is biologically determined.
Thanks Robert and thank you, Joan, for what you've both written. It's all so true in my own experience. Would it be appropriate to say that our individual situations are the result of a particular combination of "nature" and "nurture"?Just as Robert writes,I'm probably the melancholic type. Grew up an only child with distant parents. As an adult,I would be ok as long as I had safety, companionship, reliable income, but painful events (divorced twice) throughout my life have triggered anxiety and depression.Therapy and sporadic medication have always been helpful. Most of all, in the last 30 years, a spiritual practice. I've decided not to take medication, knowing it's just a temporary fix. I'm learning to accept that I'm likely to feel this way for the rest of my life.I'm giving myself permission to feel whatever I feel. Some days it's really really hard, but some it's OK. I'm 75, so it's not going to be that long anyhow!
Yes, I see our inner weather as a mix of nature and nurture plus on-going experience and conditioning, so it is never something set in stone. Conditions are always changing. So I'd say, don't assume you'll always feel this way (or waste time hoping that you won't), but focus on right now, the only actuality we ever have. As a fellow 75 year old, whether we have 25 more years or only 1 more day, all we ever really have is right now.
I see nothing wrong (or unspiritual) with medication for depression or any other condition of the bodymind, but if we can accomplish the same results with diet, exercise, meditation, walking in nature, human or animal companionship, and so on, all the better, to avoid the side effects of medications. I've found (and continue to find) all those things immensely helpful.
As you know, I completely agree with everything you say here about free will, the self, personality, etc. But I would point out that being overweight does not come only from overeating, nor does eating less always resolve it. It can also involve metabolism, hormones, age and other factors. It's very common for women to gain weight after menopause, and men often get a large belly in middle age as well. This has certainly been the case for me. I'm over 2 inches shorter now than I used to be (the spine compresses with age and we shrink in height), and simultaneously, I'm over 20 lbs heavier, and none of it it is due to overeating, which has never been a pattern of mine or one of my addictive tendencies. Also, I'm not entirely convinced that tendencies such as anxiety and depression are so deeply rooted as to be pretty much unchangeable, as you seem to suggest, and that only our behavior in response to them can change. But, overall, I resonate completely with your main point here.
Thanks, Joan. Your point is well taken. Clearly, there are all kinds of metabolic and other causes that can lead to being either over or underweight.
The ancient Greeks got at your other point pretty well, I think. The four humors and how they blend seems to dictate what each of us has to work with:
sanguine (being optimistic and social),
choleric (being short-tempered and irritable),
melancholic (being analytical and quiet),
and phlegmatic (being relaxed and peaceful).
In the case of situational depression or anxiety, psychotherapy can be quite effective. But if the important elements in life, such as safety, companionship, reliable employment, etcetera are all in place, but the patient is still depressed or anxiety-ridden, many doctors, and I was one of them, would say that medication is the way to go, which suggests sturdy biological roots for those ailments.
As you know from my writing, I've had a tendency to depression, and I briefly tried Zoloft back in Chicago, and WOW--it was marvelous. I felt as if 5 lb weights had been removed from my body. All manifestations of depression vanished. But I developed a very severe side effect and had to go off. But it seemed to jump start me in some way. I never took another anti-depressant. The last therapist I saw told me these drugs are often used now very sparingly and for short periods. And I guess there is ongoing controversy about how they work. But my brief experience with Zoloft definitely showed me very viscerally how much of our inner weather is biologically determined.
Thanks Robert and thank you, Joan, for what you've both written. It's all so true in my own experience. Would it be appropriate to say that our individual situations are the result of a particular combination of "nature" and "nurture"?Just as Robert writes,I'm probably the melancholic type. Grew up an only child with distant parents. As an adult,I would be ok as long as I had safety, companionship, reliable income, but painful events (divorced twice) throughout my life have triggered anxiety and depression.Therapy and sporadic medication have always been helpful. Most of all, in the last 30 years, a spiritual practice. I've decided not to take medication, knowing it's just a temporary fix. I'm learning to accept that I'm likely to feel this way for the rest of my life.I'm giving myself permission to feel whatever I feel. Some days it's really really hard, but some it's OK. I'm 75, so it's not going to be that long anyhow!
Thank you, Marina. <3
I agree entirely with Joan's reply to you and wish you all the best.
Yes, I see our inner weather as a mix of nature and nurture plus on-going experience and conditioning, so it is never something set in stone. Conditions are always changing. So I'd say, don't assume you'll always feel this way (or waste time hoping that you won't), but focus on right now, the only actuality we ever have. As a fellow 75 year old, whether we have 25 more years or only 1 more day, all we ever really have is right now.
I see nothing wrong (or unspiritual) with medication for depression or any other condition of the bodymind, but if we can accomplish the same results with diet, exercise, meditation, walking in nature, human or animal companionship, and so on, all the better, to avoid the side effects of medications. I've found (and continue to find) all those things immensely helpful.
Much love to you....❤️🙏